Limericks

There was an old man from Nantucket Who decided to create a list bucket Things he wanted to do Before life was through Try that before you just knock it.


It was a cold day in the spring When she and the boy had this fling But now that it's summer Turns out it's a ho-hummer Cuz he didn't produce that nice ring


Many know that I love to eat meat Hell that's the reason I believe we have teeth Please do not despair Or throw your hands in the air Just because I believe meat's a treat


I fight and I fight and I fight

I just can't seem to get this thing right

I can't seem to win

And to my chagrin

The fart just won't ignite with the light


I don't want to get up in the morning

I prefer to sleep right through the dawning

I can stay up until dawn

But I so hate the morn

And that's why you see me sitting here yawning


Jayson loves to play on his cell It is something he does really well When his mom gets the bill It doesn't give her a thrill Now he's grounded forever, do tell.


A limerick writer am I Sometimes I don’t even know why It gets me no fame And so often they’re lame So why the hell do I even try?


Stuck inside I sit and I cry COVID-19 is the reason why Please give me a ring While we’re social distancing Let’s drink some whiskey and rye.


2020 so far has been tough It’s been mean, it’s been hard, it’s been rough. So now I’m up to old tricks Writing dumb limericks Let me know when you’ve all had enough